Monday, September 10, 2018

FEATURED CHARACTER: SUSAN BOLES' LILY GAYLE LAMBERT




ABOUT THE BOOK


"Beware the sign of the vampire blood," said the fortune-teller. "It brings madness and turmoil."

Lily Gayle knows what that means, but, for the life of her, can't figure out how the fortune-teller does. A quick road trip with Dixie. An unplanned stop at a roadside park. And, an hour later a dead body. Lily Gayle, Dixie and Miss Edna find themselves knee deep in another homicide investigation when the local vet assistant turns up dead behind an outbuilding at the farmers market.

Lily Gayle believes the words of the fortune-teller will have a major impact on the investigation but can't bring herself to tell the other ladies. To reveal what she believes the words mean might bring trouble to another old friend. And would betray a trust. Only Ben knows and he, as usual, advises Lily Gayle to stay out of his investigation – which she isn't about to do.

When the secret is revealed, the townspeople go mad and the fortune-teller’s words come true. Can Lily Gayle, Dixie and Miss Edna solve the murder before more people are harmed?


Book Details:


Title: Death said the Gypsy Queen

Author: Susan Boles   

Genre: Cozy mystery

Series: A Lily Gayle Lambert Mystery, book 4


Publisher: Argent Ocean Publishing
Print length: 210 pages

On tour with Great Escapes Book Tours 







ABOUT LILY


Lily Gayle is late forties, a graduate of Ole Miss University and a widow. She came back to Mercy, Mississippi after the death of her husband eight years ago. She makes a living by combining her skills as a seamstress making costumes for re-enactors with her research skills to do genealogy searches for various clients. She lives alone in the home built by her grandparents and left to her after their death. Along with her lifelong best friend, Dixie, and town busybody, Miss Edna, she helps solve mysterious deaths that happen in the town. Much to the consternation of the sheriff, Ben Carter, who is also her cousin.



INTERVIEW WITH SUSAN BOLES’ LILY GAYLE


Q: How did you first meet Susan? 

A:
We met about fifteen years ago. She started writing Death of a Wolfman all the way back then. She got the idea from an old episode of CSI. And, since she loved cozy mysteries and doing genealogy work, she decided to write her first cozy mystery with me as the main character. She decided my age, hair color and eye color. Then made up the town. Which was originally called Mercyonus instead of Mercy. We were perking right along with the story and then, she just left me sitting around on a computer disk for years! Can you believe it? What the heck was that about? Thank goodness she dug me out of that drawer and finished my first story.

Q: Tell us about your favorite scene in the book.

A:
My favorite scene in this book is with Doc Johnson. He’s the coroner in Mercy. I find a vampire doll on my porch and it’s wearing a white jacket. I take it over to show it to Doc and warn him that someone may be out to get him. He decides it’s a joke and points out that the doll has hair and he’s bald and an egg so it can’t be about him.

Q: Tell the truth. What do you think of your fellow characters? 

A:
Well. Just between us, Miss Edna drives me up the wall. I mean, she’s eighty years old! Can’t the woman just stay home and tend to her flowers? Why does she have to keep butting into my cases? Dixie and I handle those just fine. We don’t need any help. Dixie is my best friend, you know. We’ve been friends since we were babies in diapers. She’s the best person I know. She’d give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. But, don’t think she’s all wishy-washy. She can give you what for if you get out of line. And Ben. He’s my cousin so I kind of have to love him. Right? Family is important to me. But, I have to confess, he drives me almost as nuts as Miss Edna. Trying to pull off that big brother protection routine with me. I don’t need anyone to take care of me like that. I think he does it just to try and keep me out of solving the murders around here. I know he’s the sheriff and all, but I’ve done some good work getting cases solved around here. So why does he always have to try and keep me out of the loop?

Q: Do have any secret aspirations that your author doesn’t know about?

A:
I’m putting together a bucket list of things I wanted to do. The big one right now is I want to go skydiving. And then learn standup paddle boarding. I haven’t told her yet. But she needs to work those into future books. I think both of those things would be a lot of fun. Especially the skydiving!

Q: Tell us about your best friend. 
A: My best friend is Dixie. We’ve been best friend since we met. We were in diapers at the time. Our mothers were best friends growing up. That’s how it is sometimes in small towns. Dixie tends to be a lot more cautious than me. But, in the long run that’s probably a good thing. I can’t say that she’s ever actually talked me out of doing something, but she’s made me rethink how I was going to go about it. And she’s always there to get me out of trouble. Her super power is working magic with people’s hair. She owns the It’ll Grow Back hair salon in downtown Mercy. If you want to get your hair done somewhere else, you’ll have to drive to the next town. And that would be a shame since people from those towns come to Mercy just to get Dixie to do their hair.



Q: How do you feel about your life right now?

A:
I really like my life right now. I’m getting some issues resolved. Some that probably should have been resolved a long time ago. But, things take time, you know? I’m getting over my fear of driving for one thing. For some reason, after my  husband John was killed in a car wreck years ago I got to where I couldn’t drive at all. The minute I tried it, my hands would shake so bad I could hardly keep them on the steering wheel and my feet just would not press on the accelerator. The strangest thing I ever heard of. A doctor told me it was panic and anxiety and that it would clear up eventually. So, it’s finally starting to do that. And I’m starting to think about romance again. Nothing all crazy fireworks. Just maybe having someone in my life I want to wake up next to every morning.

Q: If your story were a movie, who would play you? 

A:
Oh, definitely Reese Witherspoon. Why, we’re so much alike it’s eerie. Maybe we’re related. I need to do a genealogy search on her family. Maybe we are related! Would that just be a hoot!

Q: Describe the town where you live. 

A:
It such a sweet little town. The downtown is still doing well, even though there’s a Walmart out on the edge of town now. But I’m glad everyone supports the local businesses. Why, my friend Dixie, has the best hair salon around. It’s right on the square. The name is It’ll Grow Back. I wasn’t in favor of that when she told me, but it seems to be a big hit around here. Just goes to show people do have a sense of humor. And, the Grits and Gravy CafĂ© is on the town square, too. It’s the place where Dixie, Miss Edna, Missy Elliott, Harley Ann and I get together for breakfast every Thursday morning. That’s when I get my chocolate gravy fix for the week. They make the best for a hundred miles around at the Grits and Gravy. The courthouse is smack in the middle of the town square. It’s almost two hundred years old. And there’s a monument on the lawn with the names of all the original settlers of Barkley County engraved on it. Along with a monument to all the people from Mercy who died in all the wars. That giant magnolia by the gazebo in the town square was planted a hundred years ago by my grandfather. He was county sheriff back then.

Q: Will you encourage Susan to write a sequel? 

A:
Absolutely! She’s working on one right now. I think everyone will really like it.



ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Susan is the USA Today and Wall Street Journal Bestselling author of the Lily Gayle Lambert Mystery Series and a contributing author to the Brotherhood Protectors World.



A lifelong long love of all things mysterious led Susan to write cozy mysteries. Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden were the first to show her that girls can be crime solvers. Agatha Christie showed her that even small towns have big secrets. And Phryne Fisher showed her lady detectives can be outrageously individual. She lives in Mississippi with her rescue mini dachshund, Lucy, and her rescue cat of no particular breed, Zimba. She currently writes the Lily Gayle Lambert mystery series set in the fictional town of Mercy, Mississippi featuring a multi-generational cast of female sleuths and romantic suspense in the Brotherhood Protectors Kindle World.



Connect with Susan:


Website  |  Blog  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Goodreads  |  Amazon

Buy the book:
Amazon  




Saturday, September 8, 2018

FEATURED AUTHOR: SUSAN PETRONE


ABOUT THE BOOK

For three middle-aged women in the suburbs of Cleveland, the issues seemed compelling but relatively conventional: sending a child off to college, dealing with a marriage gone stale, feeling "invisible." But changes were coming . . . and not the predictable ones. Because Margie, Katherine, and Abra are feeling a new kind of power inside of them – literally. Of all the things they thought they might have to contend with as they got older, not one of them considered they'd be exploding a few gender roles by becoming superheroes.

At once a delightful and surprising adventure and a thoughtful examination of a woman's changing role through life's passages, The Super Ladies is larger-than-life fiction at its very best.




Book Details:


Title: The Super Ladies

Author: Susan Petrone

Genre: literary women’s fiction

Publisher: The Story Plant (August 14, 2018)

Print length: 320 pages

On tour with: Partners in Crime Virtual Book Tours







INTERVIEW WITH SUSAN PETRONE


Q: Susan, what’s the story behind the title of your book?
A: I normally have a lot of trouble with titles, but not with this book. Once I came up with the concept of three friends who develop superpowers when they go through menopause, it couldn’t be titled anything but The Super Ladies.

Q: Where’s home for you?
A: I live in Cleveland, Ohio. I went to college in Annapolis, Maryland for a time and lived for two years in Alkmaar, the Netherlands, but I always come back here. It’s home.

Q: What’s your favorite memory?
A: My daughter was born in China; my husband and I adopted. Our hotel room in Nanchang had two double beds. We put her crib in between them because we both wanted to be next to her. Our daughter was tiny and lovely with huge eyes that saw simply everything. She didn’t cry, but you could tell she was a little wary of everything that was happening.

The first night with her, I couldn’t sleep and just laid awake marveling at the glorious little being who was suddenly our child. Now that this dream of becoming a parent was a reality, I had an overwhelming wave of joy mixed with fear that I wouldn’t be up to the task. I wanted to be the parent this sweet, good-natured little baby deserved. The baby woke up and looked at me. We stared at each other for a moment, and I put my fingers through the wooden bars of the crib to touch her insanely tiny fingers. She reached out a tiny finger and touched mine back and gave me just the smallest hint of a smile. It was the first time she had smiled at either of us. It really felt like our first moment as mother and daughter.

Q: If you had an extra $100 a week to spend on yourself, what would you buy?
A: I’d save it for travel money. I think our next big trip is going to be Iceland. Either that or I’d sock it away in my IRA so I can retire earlier and have more time to write.

Q: What do you love about where you live?
A: I love swimming in Lake Erie (yes, you really can swim there) and the change of seasons. I know we can have some snowy, cold winters but that just makes you appreciate the gorgeous spring all the more. And the fall colors are breathtaking.

Q: Have you been in any natural disasters?
A: I live in Cleveland, so the answer is “No.” That’s also another great thing about my hometown—no earthquakes to speak of, no mudslides, no hurricanes, no wildfires, no floods, no tornadoes. We’re pretty safe in that regard.

Q: What is the most daring thing you've done?

A:
When I was at college in Annapolis, Maryland, I used to take walks down to the docks to look at the water and the boats. That summer, there was a replica of a clipper ship called the Mystic Clipper that took people on overnight trips. I was an 18-year-old college freshman with no money and knew nothing about sailing. But I really wanted to go on the ship. I figured it I wanted it, I had to make it happen. I approached the owners of the ship and asked if they ever let people work for their passage. Now all of my sailing knowledge had come from reading The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in elementary school and going out in a little tiny sailboat twice that semester with the cute guy who worked in the boathouse and who tried to teach the basics. I didn’t tell this to the owners of the Mystic Clipper. If I have a superpower, it’s acting as though I know what I’m doing even when I don’t. The ship’s owners said “okay,” so the following Saturday, I showed up at the Mystic Clipper with a change of clothes and my toothbrush and went aboard.

The crew was three or four young guys and, for that weekend, me. I helped in the galley and polished the brass and hoisted the mainsail and felt a little bit like a sailor. Then one of the guys said that we had to tie down the forestays on the bowsprit and did I want to help. I said, “Sure.” It turns out that the bowsprit is the long, pointed bar sticking out from the prow of the ship. There’s a thin cable running below it. You walk on the cable, over the water, while holding onto the bowsprit and tie down the forestays. I didn’t know this when I said “Sure,” but once I had committed, there was no turning back.

They said the ship didn’t go “that” fast—maybe five or six knots—but looking down and seeing the wake from the ship’s prow and realizing that if I slipped I would surely drown made it seem as though we were going very fast. It occurred to me that maybe two people knew where I was that weekend. I don’t even think the owners of the boat knew my last name. I wondered what they would tell the college if something happened to me. One of the guys made his way out on the cable on one side of the bowsprit, expecting me to follow on the other side. After talking my way into this, how could I chicken out now? I screwed up my courage, put one foot on the cable and then the other, and made my way out over the open water. I tied down the forestay, and I didn’t slip, and it was exhilarating.

Q: What is the stupidest thing you've ever done?
A: Getting married in a foreign country to someone I had only known for six months.

Q: What’s one thing you wish your younger writer self knew?
A: That being clever and in a hurry won’t get you published; you need to slow down and take your time and revise.


Q: What makes you bored?

A:
If left to my own devices, I don’t get bored because there is always something to do or see or learn or think about.

Q: What is your most embarrassing moment?

A
: Oh my, I can’t even begin to list them.

Q: What makes you nervous?

A:
Public speaking.

Q: What makes you happy?
A: Breathing, being awake and alive.

Q: What makes you scared?
A: Thinking about something bad happening to one of my family or friends, especially my kid.

Q: Do you have another job outside of writing?
A: Yes. I do communications for a research center at Case Western Reserve University. I also teach as an adjunct for Hiram College.

Q: Who are you?
A: I am still figuring that out.

Q: How did you meet your spouse?
A: I had just started working at Cleveland State University’s College of Urban Affairs. We were playing a one-off softball game against the County Commissioners office. He was playing on the college’s team as an alum. My first words to him were “Hi, I’m Susan. I think I’m batting after you.”

Q: What brings you sheer delight?

A:
A 30-mile bike ride on a perfect morning, all by myself.

Q: Would you rather be a lonely genius, or a sociable idiot?

A:
I kind of want to be both.

Q: If you could live anywhere in the world, where in the world would it be?

A:
London, England.

Q: What would you like people to say about you after you die?

A:
She was a damn good writer, and she made me laugh.

Q: Who are your favorite authors?
A: Jane Austen and Kurt Vonnegut.


Q: Where and when do you prefer to do your writing?
A: I generally write at night after my family goes to bed, but that’s more out of necessity than preference. I work half time and am off one day a week. On my off day, I try to spend most of the day writing. We have a small house, but I’ve commandeered a portion of the second floor as my office. I typically write up there or at the library or coffee shop.

Q: What are you working on now?
A: I’m working on a few things, but my next book will be called The Heebie-Jeebie Girl. It’s about a seven-year-old girl who can pick the daily lottery number and her great-uncle as they try to find the guys who robbed her grandmother. I keep telling people it’s a bit like Crime & Punishment in 1977 Youngstown only with jokes.


EXCERPT FROM THE SUPER LADIES

On the way home, Katherine called shotgun, so Abra had to sit in the back of Margie’s minivan amid soccer shin guards, baseballs, stray sneakers, swim goggles, granola bar wrappers, a rubber-banded stack of Pokemon cards, and a book on playing Minecraft. “How was this shoe not on the seat when we left?” Abra asked.
“I really couldn’t tell you,” Margie replied over her shoulder. “Things back there just seem to migrate around on their own. Hold it up.” Abra did so, and Margie took a quick look at it in the rearview mirror as they pulled out of the parking lot and onto Superior Avenue. “I don’t even think that belongs to one of mine.”
“Now you know why I called shotgun. The backseat scares me,” Katherine said. “I sometimes get overwhelmed with one kid. How do you manage three?”
“I have no life. Duh,” Margie replied.
Margie cut south onto East 12th Street and then turned east onto Chester Avenue, which would take them through Midtown, up Cedar Hill, and back home. As they drove by Cleveland State University, she asked Katherine, “Do we still have to flip the bird to CSU for denying Hal tenure?”
“Nah, the statute of limitations has expired on that one, I think.”
“I like the new housing they’re building down here,” Abra said. “If I ever move downtown, would you two come and visit me?”
“Hell yes,” said Katherine.
“Sure,” Margie added. “Are you seriously thinking of moving or just toying with it?”
“Toying. If I can unload the house to the bank, I’ll have to rent somewhere. And I’d be closer to work.”
“If you move, who will I run with every morning?” “I don’t know. Get another dog?”
Chester was a wide, three-lanes-in-each-direction boulevard that took them past the university neighborhood and through the dead zone in between downtown, where most of the office buildings and entertainment areas were, and University Circle, where most of the city’s museums and cultural gems were ensconced. Economic development hadn’t hit this middle area, and much of it was taken up by vacant buildings, empty lots, and boarded-up houses.
Nine fifteen on a Thursday night in mid-May isn’t late and isn’t scary. Still, Margie got a bad feeling when she saw a young woman on the sidewalk walking fast, hands folded across her chest, not looking at the man who walked next to her. The girl was a stranger—not her age, not her race, not her neighborhood, but still, the girl was someone, some mother’s daughter.
Margie pulled over to the curb, leaving the engine running.
“Why are you stopping?” Katherine asked.
The few other cars on the wide road passed by without slowing. No cars were parked on the street; Margie’s van was the only stopped vehicle for blocks. Katherine and Abra followed Margie’s gaze to the scene unfolding on the sidewalk. The man was yelling at the woman now. They couldn’t make out exactly what he was yelling but heard the words “bitch” and “money” a few times. And they could see his flailing arms, his face leering up against hers. She stopped walking and said something to him, and he hit her. She lost her balance and fell against the chain-link fence that ran along the sidewalk. They were in front of an empty lot, where once there might have been a house but now was only a square of crabgrass and crumbling concrete and stray garbage. For a moment, there were no other cars on the road. There was no one else on the street, no inhabited buildings for a couple blocks either way. If not for them, the woman was on her own.
“Call nine-one-one,” Abra said as the man hit the woman again. The woman tried to get away, but he grabbed her shoulders and shoved her hard against the fence.
“There’s no time,” Katherine said. In a heartbeat, she was out of the car.
“Darn it, come on…” Abra muttered as she fumbled with the sliding side door and jumped out. “Keep the engine running,” she said as she followed Katherine.
“I’ll go with you…” Margie started to say. No, Abra was right. Someone had to stay with the van, keep the engine running, stay behind the wheel in case they needed to make a quick getaway. Glancing behind her, she backed up alongside the people on the sidewalk. It felt proactive. She could hear Katherine’s strong teacher voice saying loudly but calmly, “Leave her alone” and the woman yelling, “Call the police!” It suddenly occurred to Margie that she had a phone. She could call the police. Hands trembling and heart racing, Margie frantically fumbled through her bag for her phone.
She told the 911 dispatcher where she was and what was happening, the whole time watching Katherine and Abra and the couple on the sidewalk. Suddenly, there was a glint of something shiny in the streetlight as the man rushed toward Katherine. She heard a scream, and then she couldn’t see Abra anymore.

Katherine got out of the car purely through instinct. There was someone in trouble—helping is what you were supposed to do, right? It wasn’t until she was on the sidewalk, walking toward the man and woman, saying loudly, “Leave her alone” and watching the man turn to face her that she realized she had absolutely no idea what to do next. None. It was then that her heart started pounding and a hot wave of fear tingled through her arms and legs.
Up close, she could see the guy was taller and more muscular than he appeared from the safety of the van. He was maybe white, maybe light-skinned African American with a shaved head. An indecipherable neck tattoo peeked out from under his close-fitting, long-sleeved black T-shirt. She tried to burn a police description into her brain. The woman yelled, “Call the police!” at the same time the guy said, “This is none of your damn business, lady” to Katherine. The utter disdain in his voice cleared everything out of her brain except one thought: This was such a mistake. This was such a stupid mistake. There was no way this could end well. For a split second, she imagined Hal and Anna without her, wondered if they would think her foolish for getting herself killed in this way. She heard Abra say softly, “Just let her go, man.”
Katherine could just see Abra off to her right. Margie had backed up, and the open doors of the van were only a few yards away. She could faintly hear Margie’s voice, talking to 911 maybe? Knowing they were both nearby gave her a tiny bit more courage. Katherine took a tentative step toward the woman, who was kneeling by the fence. Her face was bloodied, the sleeve of her shirt ripped. “Miss?” she asked. She looked about nineteen or twenty. Not a woman. A girl. “Why don’t you come with us? We’ll give you a ride.”
“She don’t need a ride,” the man said.
The rest of the street seemed eerily quiet. Couldn’t someone else stop and help? Someone big? Someone male maybe? Katherine wasn’t that big, but she was big enough, strong enough. She could help. Slowly she extended her left arm. If the woman wanted to take her hand, she could. Katherine held the woman’s gaze, hoping she could silently convince her that leaving with some strangers was preferable to getting beaten up by her boyfriend. Katherine was so focused that she didn’t see the knife until it was against her arm, in her arm. The man cut so fast that she hardly saw the blade, only the flash of metal against her pale white skin. It occurred to her that she needed to get out in the sun. Why am I worried about how pale I am? I just got cut. She felt the sensation of the blade slicing through flesh, felt a momentary spark of pain, and then the pain was gone. It happened faster than a flu shot—a quick prick, then nothing.
The man only made one swipe, then stopped, triumphant, staring at her arm, expecting blood, expecting her to scream, to fall. There wasn’t any blood on her arm or the knife. No blood, just Katherine staring at him wide-eyed and unharmed.
Then the man was on the ground, hit from the side by…something, something Katherine couldn’t see. The knife dropped from his hands and landed near her foot. She kicked it away at the same time she heard Abra’s voice yell, “Run!” But where the hell was Abra? She must be in the van. Katherine couldn’t see her.
Katherine said, “Come on” to the woman, who was now up and moving toward her. The woman needed no more convincing and was in the car before Katherine, even before Abra. Where had Abra been? How could she be the last one to pile into the minivan, yelling, “Go! Go!” to Margie, who was slamming on the gas before the door was even closed.
Nobody said anything for a moment. The only sound in the car was that of four women catching their breath, being glad they had breath left in their bodies. Then all of them simultaneously erupted into words of relief and fear, asking each other “Are you all right? Are you all right?”
“Oh sweet mother, I can’t believe you all just did that,” Margie said. “I thought—Katherine, I honestly thought he was going to kill you.”
“So did I,” Abra said. “How the hell did he not cut you? How did he miss you?”
“He didn’t miss me,” Katherine replied quietly. Feeling fine seemed intrinsically wrong, but there it was. Unreal sense of calm? Yes. Pain and blood? No.
Before Margie or Abra could respond, the woman exclaimed, “Oh my God, thank you! Sean would’ve done me in this time, I know it. Y’all were like superheroes or something. You saved my life.”
The three women were quiet for a heartbeat. For the moment, the hyperbole of the phrase “You saved my life” was gone. It was arguably true. This was a new sensation. Frightening and humbling. Then Margie said, “Shoot, I dropped the phone.” With one hand on the wheel, she felt around in the great vortex of tissues, empty cups, and scraps of paper in the molded plastic section in between the two front seats.
“I got it,” Katherine said, coming up with the phone. The 911 dispatcher was still on the line, wondering what was going on. “Hello?” Katherine said. “We’re okay. We got away, the woman is safe. We’re going—where are we going?”
“Anywhere away from Sean,” the woman in the back said.
“There’s a police station right down the street at one hundred and fifth,” Abra said.
“Right, I know where that is,” Margie said.
A police car with the siren off but lights flashing came roaring down Chester Avenue in the opposite direction.
“Was that for us?” Margie asked.
“I think so,” Abra said.
Katherine hardly had time to explain what had happened to the dispatcher before they were at the station. There was a long hour-plus of giving witness statements to a jaded-looking police officer who told them several times how lucky they were to have gotten out of the situation with no harm done. “What you three ladies did was very brave and very stupid,” he said in closing.
“We know,” Abra replied.
They were told they might be called as witnesses if the woman, Janelle, decided to press charges against her boyfriend. Then they were free to go. The three of them walked out of the police station and to the waiting minivan. It was nearing midnight, and the spring evening had moved from cool to downright chilly. Even so, none of them moved to get into the van. Margie unlocked it and opened the driver’s door, then just stood looking at the ground, one hand on the door, the other on the side of the van, breathing slowly. Abra paced in a slow oval near the back of the van, while Katherine leaned against it and gazed up at the few faint stars that could be seen against the city lights. She suddenly wanted to be somewhere quiet, away from the city, away from people. Margie’s voice brought her back: “I’m sorry I didn’t do anything to help.”
What are you talking about?” Katherine said. “If it weren’t for you, we never would have gotten out of there.”
Abra walked around the van to Margie. “You were the only smart one. I’m sorry I got out of the car. That was stupid.” As Abra said this, she shivered, her lips trembled, and she started to shake. “That was so stupid.” “I got out first,” Katherine said. “I’m the stupid one.” Katherine almost never saw Margie cry. Even when her eldest child was going through hell, Katherine had been amazed and admiring of her friend’s resilience. But now Margie seemed overwhelmed by heaving sobs. “I’m just so glad the two of you are okay,” Margie stammered. Crying people generally made her nervous, but Katherine joined Margie and Abra on the other side of the van.
When your friends need you, they need you.
***
Excerpt from The Super Ladies by Susan Petrone. Copyright © 2017 by Susan Petrone. Reproduced with permission from Susan Petrone. All rights reserved.



ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Susan Petrone’s short fiction has been published by Glimmer Train, Muse, Conclave, and Whiskey Island. She is the author of the novels The Super Ladies (2018), Throw Like a Woman (2015), and A Body at Rest (2009), which won a bronze medal for regional fiction from the Independent Publishers Book Awards (IPPY). Her short story, “Monster Jones Wants to Creep You Out” (Conclave, 2010) was nominated by the editor for a Pushcart Prize. On the non-fiction side, Susan’s work has appeared on ESPN.com, and CoolCleveland.com, and she co-owns the Cleveland Indians blog, ItsPronouncedLajaway.com, for ESPN.com’s SweetSpot network. She is also one of the co-founders and board member of Literary Cleveland. Susan lives with one husband, one daughter, and far too many animals in a little house near some medium-sized woods.


Connect with Susan:
Website  |  Blog  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Goodreads

Buy the book:

Amazon  |  Barnes & Noble

Thursday, September 6, 2018

FEATURED CHARACTER: COLLEEN SHOGAN'S KIT MARSHALL




ABOUT THE BOOK


It’s the height of campaign season, and instead of relishing newlywed bliss with her husband Doug Hollingsworth, Capitol Hill staffer Kit Marshall is busy with a tough reelection fight for her boss, member of Congress Maeve Dixon. Before Maeve and her staff–Kit included–leave Washington, D.C. to campaign full time in North Carolina, they have one last fundraising engagement.

On the iconic rooftop of a restaurant overlooking the Capitol and the Washington monument, Kit and her best pal Meg do their best to woo wealthy lobbyists for sizable campaign donations. Everyone’s enjoying the evening soiree until a powerful K Street tycoon mysteriously tumbles off the rooftop. Even with claims the fall must be suicide, Detective Maggie Glass and Kit aren’t so easily convinced foul play isn’t at work. While balancing Doug’s mid-life career crisis, Kit must spring into action to discover who killed the notorious Van Parker before Dixon’s candidacy sputters, even if it means investigating Meg’s handsome new beau, the victim’s conniving widow, and a bicycle advocate hell-bent on settling a long-standing grudge. When threatening note is left on Kit’s car, warning her to back off the investigation, she knows she’s closing in on the true story of what happened.


Book Details:


Title: K Street Killing



Author: Colleen J. Shogan

Genre: Cozy mystery

Series: Washington Whodunit, book 4

Publisher: Camel Press (July 15, 2018)

Print length: 242 pages

On tour with: Great Escapes Book Tours







ABOUT THE CHARACTER

Kit Marshall is a thirty-something Capitol Hill staffer who juggles politics and crime-solving. She’s newly married to a Georgetown history professor and enjoys spending time with her best gal pal Meg and beagle mutt Clarence.




INTERVIEW WITH COLEEN SHOGAN’S KIT MARSHALL


Q:
Kit, how did you first meet Colleen?
A: One day, Colleen was taking a morning stroll in her suburban Washington, D.C. neighborhood. She’d just finished reading another mystery novel, and somehow, I appeared right around the corner! By the time she’d returned home from her walk, she’d already come up with my first mystery-solving adventure.

Q: Want to dish about her? 

A: A lot of people think that I’m based on Colleen, but that’s not true at all. Instead, I’m a clever amalgamation of many women Colleen has met on Capitol Hill over the years.

Q: Did you have a hard time convincing Colleen to write any particular scenes for you? 
A: She definitely doesn’t enjoy writing the romantic scenes with Doug. But I convinced her that the storyline needed some romance to spice it up!



Q: Tell us about your best friend. 
A: My best gal pal is Meg Peters, who helps me solve the murders we confront on Capitol Hill. She’s gorgeous, funny, and the guys love her! She’s more adventurous than I am, which is why I often get into lots of trouble.



Q: What’s Colleen’s worst habit?  

A: Colleen loves the setting of Capitol Hill, so she sometimes tells a lot of details about locations we visit when solving a case. Other times, she likes to write about the legislative process. I hope readers don’t find it too boring!



Q: How do you feel about your life right now? 

A: I just got married and only had time for a quickie honeymoon. If I could, I wish I could spend more time with my professor husband, Doug. I guess I’ll just have to convince him to join in on the sleuthing so we can hang out together!

Q: What aspect of Colleen’s writing style do you like best?  

A: I like her snappy dialogue. She writes some memorable lines for her characters. Some might even say they’re funny!

Q:  If your story were a movie, who would play you? 
A: Gosh, I can’t even imagine being on the big screen! Maybe Aubrey Plaza or America Ferrera. Someone with spunk who isn’t a size 2!

Q: What makes you stand out from any other characters in your genre?  

A: A lot of other cozy mystery sleuths live in a small town. I live right outside Washington, D.C. in Arlington, Virginia in a high-rise condo building. I’m younger than most of my counterparts, and I live an urban lifestyle. I’m an interesting alternative within the genre. Sometimes, it’s good to break the traditional mold.

Q: If you could be “adopted” by another writer, who would you choose?  

A: Probably Margaret Truman, if she was still alive. It would be nice if Ellen Crosby would take me wine-tasting in Virginia. Or if Joyce Tremel would teach me how to brew craft beers in Pittsburgh!

Q: Will you encourage Collen to write a sequel?  

A: She’s already written another story about me that will come out in 2019. This time, I get caught up in a murder at the Botanic Garden in Washington, DC. Watch out for the killer plants!


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Colleen J. Shogan has been reading mysteries since the age of six. A political scientist by training, Colleen has taught American politics at Yale, George Mason University, Georgetown, and Penn. She previously worked on Capitol Hill as a legislative staffer in the United States Senate and as the Deputy Director of the Congressional Research Service. She is currently a senior executive at the Library of Congress who works on great outreach initiatives such as the National Book Festival.

Connect with Colleen:

Website  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Goodreads


 
Buy the book:

Amazon  |  Barnes & Noble






Tuesday, September 4, 2018

FEATURED AUTHOR: WENDY TYSON




ABOUT THE BOOK

It’s summertime in Winsome. Washington Acres is abloom, Megan is preparing for the grand opening of their wood-fired pizza farm, and things with Megan’s beau, handsome Dr. Finn, are getting as hot as the August temperatures.

But when Megan’s ne’er-do-well father arrives in Pennsylvania with his high-maintenance Italian wife, Sylvia, and announces they’re staying at the new yoga retreat center a town away, a sweet occasion sours.

Eager to secure pieces for her Milan boutique, Sylvia finagles a meeting with up-and-coming artist Thana Moore, whose work is showing at the retreat center. After their explosive encounter, Thana is murdered and Sylvia becomes the prime suspect.

Only Sylvia isn’t the only one with ties to the artist—once upon a time, Thana Moore had been Megan’s best friend.

As Megan delves into Thana’s past, piecing together the years since their falling out, she realizes that something sinister is afoot in Bucks County. Unless Megan can find the killer, this idyllic summer will turn nightmarish. Innocent people may be imprisoned—and even more could die.




Book Details:


Title: Rooted in Deceit

Author: Wendy Tyson

Genre: Mystery/Cozy


Series: A Greenhouse Mystery, book 4

Publisher: Henery Press (September 4, 2018)

Print length: 270
 pages







LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT WITH WENDY TYSON


A few of your favorite things:
Puppies. Dark maple syrup. Early morning after a late-night snowfall.
Things you need to throw out: Old bills and documents. Rejection letters.



Things you need in order to write: Time. My laptop. Coffee is nice.
Things that hamper your writing: A cluttered mind. Overly loud music. The television.



Things you love about writing: That first draft. The smell of a new book. The uncertainty. My readers.
Things you hate about writing: Editing that first draft. Editing the last draft. The uncertainty.



Things you love about where you live: The change of seasons, especially fall. The focus on eating and buying local. Fresh apple cider.
Things that make you want to move: Driving in the snow and ice.

Favorite foods: Indian and Thai curries. Fresh heirloom tomatoes. Berry crisp.
Things that make you want to throw up: Spam. Sausage. Tapioca pudding.


Last best thing you ate: Carrot Asado “hot dogs.”

Last thing you regret eating: Oreos.

Things you always put in your books: Animals.


Things you never put in your books: Graphic sexual violence.

Things to say to an author: I read your book! (We really do appreciate it). I checked your book out of the library. I left you a review.

Things to say to an author if you want to be fictionally killed off in their next book: I got your book off one of those free download (read: piracy) sites.


Favorite places you’ve been: Teton National Park. Chamonix, France. Sao Miguel, Portugal (Azores).


Places you never want to go to again: The little “camp” in coastal Maine with the slanted floor, paper-thin mattresses, and eight-legged roommates! (That said, I love Maine.)


Favorite things to do: Swimming. Writing. Hanging out with my boys—movies, travel, hiking, anything really. 


Things you’d run through a fire wearing gasoline pants to get out of doing: Cleaning bathrooms. I absolutely despise cleaning bathrooms.


Most daring thing you’ve ever done: Had children. By far the bravest, most daring thing I have ever done. 


Something you chickened out from doing: Sky diving. I had the opportunity and just squawked away.


ALSO BY WENDY TYSON:

 A Muddied Murder: Book 1 of the Greenhouse Mystery series


ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Wendy Tyson is an author, lawyer, and former therapist who writes the bestselling Green-house Mystery Series and the Allison Campbell Mystery Series. Her short fiction has appeared in literary journals and in the short story anthologies Betrayed: Powerful Stories of Kick-Ass Crime Survivors and The Night of the Flood, and her mystery A Dark Homage was recently accepted for publication in January 2020. Wendy is a contributing editor and columnist for International Thriller Writers’ e-zines, The Big Thrill and The Thrill Begins. She and her husband recently moved their micro-farm from Pennsylvania to the Green Mountains of Vermont.

Connect with Wendy:

Website  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Goodreads

 Buy the book:
Amazon  |  Barnes & Noble

Sunday, September 2, 2018

SPOTLIGHT ON ARABELLA SEYMOUR




ABOUT THE BOOK


The paths of two generations of women cross, when researcher Rhiannon Harrowdine, fact-gathering for a book, traces the elderly widow of Battle of Britain pilot Harry Sartain, now an arthritic 96-year-old in a nursing home run by nuns.


The Sartains once lived at Green Court, now an imposing country house health spa, the focus of Rhiannon's fascination; illegally adopted at birth, she discovered that her real family lived there after the Sartains, and that three unsolved mysteries are attached to the house that she longs to investigate further: the disappearance of a young graduate there during the war, a rock star who claimed it was haunted, and the mysterious death of an American romantic novelist that was never solved.  


The two women strike up an immediate rapport, but Eveleen is still holding back old secrets.  Escaping from abusive fosterers, she falls into the clutches of a callous confidence trickster who bigamously marries her for his own ends, then abandons her to face a prison sentence for his own crime.  On her release at the outbreak of war, she volunteers for the WVS and finds herself escorting evacuees into rural Kent, where she meets and marries the charismatic Harry Sartain.  But the marriage falls apart when he becomes morose and bitter at the savagery of war and the loss of his comrades and close friends, and Eveleen falls in love with his brother, Rufus.

Rhiannon's own marriage to barrister and now judge Stephen Harrowdine, is also falling apart, but she struggles to keep their increasing dissension from their young children.  Ultimately, sustained by her passionate enthusiasm for her work, her friendships, and a new relationship formed during the search for facts for her book, she finally finds the strength to leave the family home, free at last to take the next steps towards a new life.


Book Details:


Title: Orphans Of The Storm

Author: Arabella Seymour

Genre: intrigue, romance, mystery, historical

Series: Gree Court Trilogy, book 2

Publisher: Peach Publishing, (July 20th 2018)

Print length: 434 pages







FROM THE AUTHOR



Even bestselling authors receive very, very few customer reviews in proportion to the number of their books actually sold.


However much a reader has enjoyed a book, only a tiny minority actually bother to leave a review – this is even more important to the author of the book than other prospective readers – because getting to learn of their readers' opinions and what they like or dislike about a book is very important to most authors, myself included.  There is too little interaction between writers and readers at the moment – and I hope this will change.
     




ABOUT THE AUTHOR




Arabella comes from a creative family on her mother's side – mum was a music hall artiste – and has loved writing from an early age – poems and short stories to begin with, first novel published in her teens. She thinks of a new book as a dressmaker might think of a new garment – put the fabric on the tailor's dummy and go from there: change the hem, tweak the neckline, add or take away as needs be. An idea can come from nowhere; sometimes from the stimulus of a memory, a personal experience, a piece of music, a picture. Then it gradually takes shape, growing and changing as it goes.
     
Arabella was born in Greater London and educated at various girls' schools, and worked in London libraries until she married and moved to Canterbury with her husband. She is divorced with one daughter, and was able to write her first really successful novel A Passion In The Blood, while at home when her daughter was small. This was published by Collins in the UK, Putnam in the USA and translated into French, where it sold out the entire first edition. 
     
She is currently writing the third and final novel in the Green Court saga.

Connect with Arabella:

Website  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Goodreads
 (official author website)

Buy the book:
Amazon 

Friday, August 31, 2018

FEATURED CHARACTER: TINA KASHIAN'S LUCY BERBERIAN






ABOUT THE BOOK


Lucy Berberian has taken over her family’s Mediterranean restaurant on the Jersey Shore after an unsatisfying stint at a Philadelphia law firm. It’s great to be back in her old beach town, even if she’s turning into a seasoned sleuth. 

Catering a high-society wedding should bring in some big income for Kebab Kitchen—and raise its profile too. But it’s not exactly good publicity when the best man winds up skewered like a shish kebab. Worse yet, Lucy’s ex, Azad—who’s the restaurant’s new head chef—is the prime suspect. But she doesn’t give a fig what the cops think. He may have killer looks, but he’s no murderer. She just needs to prove his innocence, before he has to go on the lamb . . .

Recipes included! “A delectable read.” —Bestselling author Shelley Freydont


Book Details:
Title: Stabbed in the Baklava
Author: Tina Kashian
Genre: Cozy Mystery
Series: A Kebab Kitchen Mystery, book 2
Publisher: Kensington (August 28, 2018)
Print length: 336 pages
On tour with: Great Escapes Book Tours







CHARACTER INTERVIEW WITH TINA KASHIAN’S LUCY BERBERIAN


Q: Lucy, who are you?
A: My name is Lucy Berberian. I’m a thirty-something refugee of a Philadelphia law firm. I returned home only to find myself sucked back into my family’s Mediterranean restaurant. But after realizing the business isn’t so bad and my true friends are in Ocean Crest, I stepped up and decided to manage the restaurant so my parents could ease into retirement. It’s been challenging work, but I love it. 

Q: Where do you live?
A: Kebab Kitchen, my family’s Mediterranean restaurant, is located in Ocean Crest at the Jersey Shore. It’s a small town that triples in population during the summer season. It’s quaint and has a mile-long boardwalk that brags a pier with an old-fashioned wooden roller coaster and Ferris wheel. It’s a perfect place to vacation with your family—as long as a murderer is found and arrested.

Q: Do you have a significant other?
A: Is this a trap? Or did my mother put you up to this? My mom is constantly nagging me for more grandchildren. The truth is that after a love life as dry as the Sahara, there are two tall, dark haired and handsome men in my life. 

Azad Zakarian is a college ex-boyfriend who broke my heart years ago. He’s changed now and wants a second chance to make things right. He still makes my heart pound whenever he steps in the kitchen. And the fact that he is now Kebab Kitchen’s new head chef and works for me makes things as sticky as baklava syrup between us. He wants more, but I’m not sure mixing business with pleasure is the right thing. Call me a coward, I know!

Michael Citteroni runs the bicycle rental shop next door. Even though he could grace the cover of a men’s fashion magazine, I feel a kinship with him. Just like me, he has an overbearing ethnic father. Michael owns a Harley-Davidson, and against better judgment, I rode with him for the first time a month ago. Turns out, I loved it and we have gone on more than one ride to the boardwalk. 

Q: How do you feel about your other fellow characters?
A: Katie Watson has been my best friend since grade school. She is also married to an Ocean Crest beat cop and I’ve been living in their guest bedroom in their cozy rancher since returning home. I know it is time to look for my own place, but Katie gets upset whenever I mention it. Katie is also a great crime fighting partner. She is obsessed with crime TV shows like the reruns of Matlock, Columbo, and CSI, and her knowledge has come in quite handy.

My parents, Angela and Raffi Berberian, play an important role in my life. We are a tight-knit Armenian, Lebanese and Greek family. That also means that everyone is in everyone else’s business. My matchmaking mama has been on my case to marry and add another twig to the family tree. Her preference is Azad, and that alone should make me run for the hills, but I’m older and wiser now and think I can handle the family expectations. We’ll see . . .

Sally is our long-time waitress and Emma is my older sister.  Emma hasn’t been known for her faithfulness in the past, and she dubbed the town’s sole Investigator Clinging Calvin in high school. Unfortunately, Detective Calvin Clemmons, hasn’t forgotten the slight and he holds a grudge against the family. This has definitely come back to haunt me during my sleuthing.

Q: Do you have any pets?
A: We’ve adopted an outdoor restaurant cat named Gadoo, which means cat in Armenian. Not very original, I know. Gadoo is orange and black and feisty, and I always stock his favorite treats from the local grocery store. When I move out of Katie’s house one day, I want to take Gadoo with me, but I know I’ll have to battle my mother for him.

Q: How do you feel about your life right now?
A: Well, things haven’t gone exactly as planned. I thought it a dream come true when a socialite asks Kebab Kitchen to cater her wedding. But from the beginning we’ve been challenged. My mother demands perfection with the food, Azad’s looks hotter and hotter in the kitchen (who knew a man who could cook could be so sexy?) and then there is the tragedy at the reception. The best man is found skewered in the catering van. Things go from bad to worse when Detective Clemmons treats Azad as a number one suspect. I know better, and I feel duty bound to find the real killer. Plus, I need my head chef. It’s all in a day’s work for me.



EXCERPT FROM STABBED IN THE BAKLAVA 



One




 Ocean Crest, NJ
 “Took you long enough to fetch one extra tray of baklava from the catering van, Lucy. Dessert service is just about to start,” Azad mumbled as he cut a tray of baklava in diamond-shaped slices. The pastry smelled delicious, a rich combination of butter, chopped walnuts, cinnamon, and flaky phyllo dough, and Lucy was momentarily distracted. A large jar of simple sugar syrup was on the counter waiting to be poured over the cut baklava. She’d be sure to have a piece as soon as this wedding was finally over.
Azad halted his work to glare at her. “What? You want a piece now?”
With a huff, Lucy slapped the catering van key on the counter and walked away. She wanted to tell him that the wedding had more drama than a soap opera, but decided against it. No sense bringing up the subject of the best man, Henry Simms, right now. Azad had reacted quite strongly the first time he’d encountered Henry.
Hours later, Lucy had forgotten the argument between Henry and the wedding planner, Victoria. After serving twenty trays of baklava and wedding cake, they’d bagged slices of leftover cake and baklava for the guests to take home. When all the work was finished, Lucy let out a big sigh of relief. She pulled a stool up to the work counter and sipped a glass of water. Her lower back ached and her feet throbbed. Now that their catering work was done they could leave. The band was booked for only one more hour, and the staff of Castle of the Sea would remain to clean up the ballroom.
Katie joined her with a plate of leftover wedding cake. She took a bite and shut her eyes. “Hmm. This is good.” She set down her fork and patted Lucy on the back. “Congratulations! Your first catering foray for Kebab Kitchen was a huge success.”
“Thanks, but I couldn’t have done it without you, Azad, and Butch.”
Katie thrust her plate of cake at Lucy. “Have a bite while I sneak into the ballroom to see if there’s extra champagne to celebrate.” She pushed back her stool and headed out of the kitchen and into the ballroom.
Butch approached and smiled, his gold tooth flashing beneath the fluorescent lights. “Your friend is right. You did good, Lucy Lou.”
She stood and hugged Butch, Kebab Kitchen’s line cook. Her arms didn’t reach halfway around his massive chest.
Azad had a bemused look on his face. “I have to agree. Great job with the servers, Lucy. Butch and I were able to focus entirely on the food while we knew you would handle the rest.”
Lucy smiled at the praise. She also knew better than to hug him. She’d struggled to shut out any awareness of Azad and it was best to avoid physical contact.
“I meant what I said. You both did the lion’s share of the work. I can’t cook and you two know it,” Lucy said.
It was an opening for Azad to tease her, but he didn’t. Instead, he took off his chef’s hat, ran his fingers through his dark locks, and said, “We better start packing before that testy wedding planner returns. I’ll get the rolling carts from the van.” He picked up some clean pots and pans and departed through the back door.
She stared after him with a frown. She knew he was right. Why give Victoria Redding a reason to complain? Then why did she feel an odd twinge of disappointment that he hadn’t taken the opportunity to remind her of her lack of culinary talents? Did she actually miss his teasing? Had it become a form of flirting?
Don’t go there, Lucy.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lucy busied herself by helping Butch gather the soup pots and equipment. But when Azad didn’t return after ten minutes, she frowned. How long could it take to roll a cart from the van into the kitchen? Had he been waylaid by Victoria in the parking lot? Was he getting a tongue-lashing as they waited? Or was she retrieving Henry’s cell phone from beneath the van’s bumper? Lucy wouldn’t put anything past the woman.
“I’m going to check on Azad,” she told Butch.
She jogged back to the van and slowed as she spotted Azad outside the van’s open back doors. One hand clutched the door, his knuckles white.
"Azad?”
 No response.
The hair on the nape of her neck stood on end as she came close. “Is everything okay?”
She looked inside and froze. There, splayed on the floor of the van, was Henry Simms, stabbed in the neck with a shish kebab skewer. 



ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Tina Kashian is an attorney and a former mechanical engineer whose love of reading for pleasure helped her get through years of academia. She is the author of the Kebab Kitchen Mediterranean cozy mystery series. Tina spent her childhood summers at the Jersey shore building sandcastles, boogie boarding, and riding the boardwalk Ferris wheel. She also grew up in the restaurant business, as her Armenian parents owned a restaurant for thirty years. Tina still lives in New Jersey with her supportive husband and two young daughters. Please visit her website to join her newsletter, receive delicious recipes, enter contests, and more!

Connect with Tina:
Website  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Instagram 

Buy the book:
Amazon  |  Barnes & Noble iBooks  |  Google Books  |  Kobo




Wednesday, August 29, 2018

FEATURED AUTHOR: GRAHAM REED




ABOUT THE BOOK


Vancouver, British Columbia – land of psychotically expensive real estate, high-grade cannabis, and Jake Constable. A man adrift.

After Jake quits the drug business, his realtor/ex-wife, Nina, gets him a job as a house sitter for her wealthy clients. Jake celebrates by throwing a party in the mansion he was hired to look after. Unfortunately, the guest list gets out of hand, leaving Jake to contend with a hallucinogenic-vitamin-dispensing yogi, a dead guy in the bathroom, and The Norwegian – a criminal force of nature with a grudge against Jake.


When the owner of the multimillion-dollar crime scene returns home prematurely, only Jake's inadvertent discovery of the man's politically incorrect business history saves him from having to clean up after the party. But he still has to come clean with his ex-wife. The situation threatens to turn into an international incident when Nina’s power broker uncle and a pair of secret agents from China show up to turn the screws on Jake. Soon after that his friends start disappearing. With the Chinese government leaning on him and The Norwegian out to settle an old score, Jake comes up with a desperate plan to dupe the secret agents, save his friends, and (why not?) solve the murder.



Book Details:
Title: The Chairman's Toys
Author: Graham Reed

Genre: Crime fiction, mystery, humor

Published by: Poisoned Pen Press (
July 3, 2018 )
Print length: 238 pages
On tour with: Partners in Crime Book Tours




INTERVIEW WITH GRAHAM REED


Things you need in order to write: An idea, a quiet space, a comfortable chair, and my laptop.
Things that hamper your writing: Oven mitts.

Things you love about writing: Being surprised by the characters in my books.
Things you hate about writing: Being surprised by the characters in my books.


Easiest thing about being a writer: Adhering to the dress code.
Hardest thing about being a writer:
Letting go of what I write and accepting that the story is out there leading a life of its own.

Things you never want to run out of: Chipotle sauce; oxygen; toilet paper.
Things you wish you’d never bought: My excuses for not trying things.

Favorite foods: Neapolitan pizza; that Lindt dark chocolate with the sea salt in it; really ripe blueberries. Is bourbon a food?
Things that make you want to throw up: Roller coasters.

Something you’re really good at: Figuring out people’s motivations.
Something you’re really bad at: Mowing the lawn.

Last best thing you ate: Lobster cakes at a dockside restaurant in Bocas del Toro, Panama.
Last thing you regret eating: Lobster cakes at a dockside restaurant in Bocas del Toro, Panama still listed on the ‘fresh’ board six days later.

Things to say to an author: I note that you’re human like me and I suppose you might feel somewhat insecure and defensive about what you conjured up out of your brainbox and wrote down for all the world to read, analyze, judge. While I didn’t love everything about your story, I will mention something I enjoyed before unloading the negative stuff on you because I know you’re going to wear all that around like a hair shirt for at least the next week.
Things to say to an author if you want to be fictionally killed off in their next book: Here’s how I would’ve done it . . .

Favorite books: There are many. Many, many. Within the crime fiction genre, some of my favorites are Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Lethem, The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon, and IQ by Joe Ide. I also love the old Dortmunder books by Donald Westlake.
Books you would ban: I would never ban a book, but I would like to ban people from using books as justifications for their actions. What they’re looking for are instruction manuals.

People you’d like to invite to dinner: Tom Waits; Kinky Friedman; Stephen Colbert; Sarah Silverman. Maybe not all at the same time.
People you’d cancel dinner on: That blind date I went to dinner with back in university who downed our entire carafe of wine with blinding speed only to barf it onto the table moments later. She kindly invited me up for a cup of tea when I dropped her off at home twenty minutes later but I’d still like to cancel that dinner.



BOOK EXCERPT

I was just starting to enjoy the party when The Norwegian came out of the bathroom and ruined everything.
At the time, I was dancing with a hyperkinetic yoga enthusiast named Windy. Or possibly Mindy. All attempts at verbal communication were being swallowed up by the blizzard of techno coming out of the forty thousand dollar stereo system. Which was fine by me since I didn’t imagine Windy-Mindy and I had all that much to talk about anyway.
She looked about a decade younger than me — clocking in somewhere south of thirty — and it was manifestly evident that her lifestyle choices were largely antagonistic to my own. Shrink-wrapped in Lululemon, Windy-Mindy radiated health and vigor as she bounced around in fuchsia Nikes performing an ode to the benefits of healthy living expressed through the medium of interpretive dance.
Exhausted by the spectacle, I took a breather and another belt of Woodford Reserve. In an attempt to bridge the cultural divide I waggled the bottle at Windy-Mindy, inquiring with my eyebrows. Her brow furrowed but the corners of her mouth did curl up slightly — one patronizing, the other amused. Or so the bourbon whispered to me.
It may have been correct because she countered by proffering her own bottle — the blue-tinted plastic kind that hikers and college students liked to clip to their backpacks. In her other hand were two small white tablets, which I lip-read to be Vitamin C.
I shrugged and swallowed.
The contents of the bottle turned out to be wheatgrass and champagne, a combination that tasted even worse than it sounded. I forgave Windy-Mindy when the vitamins started coming on about twenty minutes later. Every cell in my body began sending my brain a jubilant message of thanks and goodwill, as well as suggesting, by the way, that they wouldn’t mind getting to know every cell in Windy-Mindy’s body if the opportunity should arise.
This wasn’t my usual kind of trip and it made me suspect two things: (1) The tablets probably weren’t Vitamin C and (2) if Windy-Mindy was on the same ride, it might explain her unlikely but undeniable interest in me.
Another possibility was that she had heard I was Jake Constable, a.k.a. the host of the party. From there she might have leapt to the not-unreasonable conclusion that the twenty million dollar mansion in which the festivities were taking place was also mine. Which was true, in a very temporary but excruciatingly legal sense.
The actual owner of the house, Mickey Wu, had hired me to look after it while he was out of town. For most of the evening, my flagrant abuse of this responsibility had precluded me from enjoying the party. Which was too bad since it was turning into a real killer.
The place was mobbed with people, an undeniable relief in those early evening “will it happen?” moments, but now a source of concern. I took it as a matter of faith that the front door was still on its hinges as I hadn’t seen it close in hours. On the mezzanine, a velour-clad DJ was hunched over a laptop and two turntables, conjuring up humongous bass beats and mixing them with everything from sirens to symphonies. The crowd was loving it, up and moving on every available horizontal surface including the dining room table, much to the annoyance of the people clustered around it hoovering up lines of white powder.
When an albino wearing a lime green speedo and an impish grin threaded his way through the crowd on a Vespa I found myself on the verge of questioning whether the party had been such a brilliant idea after all. He was travelling at a reasonable speed and using his horn judiciously but I still couldn’t shake that harbinger-of-ill-fate feeling.
At least until I discovered Windy-Mindy and her narcotic vitamins. After that, I was blissfully surfing the moment, my worries gone and my eyes inexorably drawn to her endless curves as they took on a cotton candy glow. I frowned and shook my head, but the effect persisted.
I spent long, increasingly paranoid moments pondering whether an admixture of wheatgrass and champagne could give bourbon hallucinogenic properties until I noticed the sun winking at me from behind the skyscrapers of downtown Vancouver through the window behind her. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to banish this unwelcome party crasher. When I opened them, the sun was eclipsed by another — The Norwegian.
My first impulse was to go over and hug him, but I knew that was only Windy-Mindy’s vitamins messing with my amygdala. My second impulse was to run.
It had been almost three years since I had seen my former business partner, and he hadn’t changed a bit. The ornate black leather trench coat and vaguely Druidic hairstyle would have been comical on a smaller man less prone to violence. As he loomed over the crowd I tried to disappear within it. We hadn’t parted on the best of terms.
I had brought him in on a deal that had started as a hobby for me, a way to use the inheritance I received from my grandfather — a couple acres of land on Hornby Island and a green thumb. Granddad grew prize-winning heirloom tomatoes there. People loved his tomatoes. I preferred marijuana. As did my friends, and their friends, and so on.
When I terminated our partnership, The Norwegian kept three hundred thousand dollars of my money and I kept my kneecaps, which seemed like a fair distribution of assets at the time. Deprived of “Granddad’s Ganja”, The Norwegian moved into harder drugs and I moved into a converted loft in a post-industrial neighbourhood in East Vancouver. I spent money, threw parties, started dating my real estate agent, wrote a screenplay, shredded a screenplay, married my real estate agent, spent the last of my money, got divorced by my real estate agent, became mildly depressed, and began perusing community college course catalogs. I was a phone call away from signing up for a denturist training program when my ex-wife/realtor lined me up with house sitting gigs for her wealthy clients.
Clients like Mickey Wu, in whose house The Norwegian was now standing. He was nonplussed when he spotted me. Then his face lit up with the expression of affected innocence that always accompanied his most heinous acts.
My pocket vibrated. I dug out my phone to find a text from Richard.
there’s a dead guy in the bathroom :(
I stared at the phone. Then I stared across the room at the bathroom door. The Norwegian was no longer standing in front of it. He had been replaced by Richard, who was staring back at me with an expression of genuine innocence and barely controlled panic.
***
Excerpt from The Chairman's Toys by Graham Reed.  Copyright © 2018 by Graham Reed. Reproduced with permission from Graham Reed. All rights reserved.



ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Graham Reed is an award-winning author of crime fiction who lives on a small island in the Salish Sea with is wife and two children.

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